What are you willing to do?

What are you willing to do to feel ready to date? For example, something as simple as getting out of the house can point you in the right direction.

  • You can walk the dog, take a class in something you love doing (or want to learn), join a group (cards, theater, walking, books – http://www.meetup.com/ is a great resource), visit churches/temples/etc. to see if one “fits you.”
  • Smile at people you see in your travels outside the house. You don’t have to talk to them, just smile. This action alone can make you feel lighter.
  • Visit a few neighborhood restaurants and coffee shops and pick out three where you could meet your future first dates.

What are you willing to do to meet someone you really like?

  • Write down what you want from a date (don’t think about “husband” yet). Examples: (1) Good conversation about – current events, business, theater, children, grandchildren, walking, sailing, cooking, travel (you get the idea). (2) How he treats you – complimentary, offers to pay, polite, interested in what you have to say, etc.
  • Write down what you bring to a relationship. This is good way to remind yourself what a good catch you are.
  • Read these lists every day. Feel free to add things as you go along.

What are you willing to do to get over your fears?

  • Write down your fears. In writing, they don’t usually look as big as they did when they were bouncing around inside your brain.
  • Do these fears still apply to who you are today? If not, how amazing it would be to find out you don’t need to worry about them anymore. If they do, try writing down things you can do to overcome those fears. Just writing down (not doing anything yet). See? Not too scary.

What are you willing to do to have a fun date?

  • I’ve met people who just want a date. But if you’re going to go through the entire hair/makeup/heels ritual, it should be more than “just a date” – it should be fun.
  • Decide the date is going to be fun – no matter what!!! My two worst dates weren’t what most people would consider fun, but I found them fun. For me, “fun” is when I enjoy myself. And “enjoyment” happens when I get to learn something about me and others.
  • Decide what attainable “fun” is for you and write it down. (Next week I’ll tell you about those two dates.)

Each suggestion above gives you something that is totally under your control (in other words, not dependent on or limited by someone else).

Pick one thing to do each day for a week and see how you feel afterwards. If you feel better, pick another one and do both of them each day for another week. If you didn’t enjoy the first thing, then pick another one and do that one for a week until you find one you like. Remember this is supposed to be fun.

Often we are our worst enemies because we’re unwilling to do something differently. So, what are you willing to do to?

~ Christine
Dating and Relationship Expert

Goal Setting + Purposeful Dating = Satisfying Relationships

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