New Year’s resolutions (part 3)

In my last two posts, I’ve been talking about six ways to make resolutions “stick”. Today I’d like to talk a little more about the third item on this list:

3. Break the resolution into very small goals, and clearly state each goal.

This process of making small goals will help take the overwhelm out of resolution-keeping.

For purposes of illustration, let’s assume your resolution is to meet someone to do things with. We’ll use a broad brush here. For example, the final goal may be for that “someone” to be the opposite sex. However, for the moment we’ll leave that part open. Initially, it could prove beneficial to meet a friend of the same sex to start doing things with.

Now let’s break this resolution into small goals, using the lists below as examples.

(1) What would you like to do with this “someone”?

  • Go to the movies?
  • Have good conversations over dinner?
  • Play cards and board games?
  • Go walking?

(2) What qualities would you like this “someone” to have? For example:

  • Enjoying the same movies I do – musicals, action, happy endings.
  • They ask me questions and listen to my answers. They know about things I don’t know, and are interested in learning about the things I know.
  • Learning new games.
  • Power walking vs. strolling through parks.

(3) How can you find places to meet people who share your activities? For example:

  • Meetup.com. (By the way, this is a wonderful source of activities. Just join and start marking the things you enjoy at your zip code and voila you will have a list of more things than you could ever do).
  • Google – search for activities in your area.
  • Ask friends and people at work.
  • The calendar of events at your place of worship.

Armed with the answers from your lists, you’re now ready to pick an activity to try.

I realize it may be hard and scary to go to something by yourself. In the next blog post, we’ll discuss the difference between “scary nervous” and “scary dangerous”. We’ll also talk about my final three suggestions on the “resolution” list.

~ Christine
Dating and Relationship Expert

Goal Setting + Purposeful Dating = Satisfying Relationships

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