“Scary dangerous” vs. “scary nervous”

It can be hard and scary to get “out there” and meet people. It’s important to keep yourself safe. And to do this, it’s crucial to know the difference between “scary dangerous” and “scary nervous”.

Scary dangerous.

If your “intuition” says don’t go then please listen and don’t go. If you intuition is not ringing alarm bells, then to ensure you’ll be safe:

  • Join an activity that has at least 10 people who have RSVP’d.
  • Go to something that takes place during the daytime.
  • Ask a friend to go with you.
  • Bring your charged cell phone.
  • Drive your own car.

Scary nervous.

Something new tends to feel “scary nervous.”

  • This is often because we don’t know what to expect.
  • We wonder if we’ll be comfortable with the other people.
  • We are concerned we won’t be good at the activity.

To waylay some of the “scary nervous” feelings, read reviews by other people who have previously attended this activity. Bring a friend. Decide you’ll have a good time even if you don’t like the people or aren’t good at the activity. Decide you are going to learn something new that will be beneficial to you, such as:

  • Perhaps you don’t like that activity at all. Great, move on to the next activity on your list.
  • Maybe you don’t like that activity in the way they did it. Just like in dating not everyone or every activity will be a match for you. (Now you can refine your search and find one that fits you better, just like dating.)
  • You met someone (a man or a woman) who likes doing something else you enjoy and they want you to go with them to that activity. This is great! A new friend.
  • You got some great exercise.
  • You were brave enough to try something new. Congratulations!!! You are no longer a “going out on your own virgin.” 🙂

~ Christine
Dating and Relationship Expert

Goal Setting + Purposeful Dating = Satisfying Relationships


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