Men, women, and competitive sports

You’ve probably heard the term “football-baseball-golf widow”, where the “men” are gone for an entire day (or weekend or week) to participate in and/or watch sports.

Some women enjoy the time their partner is gone. These women do something they enjoy doing (or do nothing at all) and often don’t resent this time without him.

Some women don’t like the time their partner spends engaged in sports activities. They feel it takes away from time their partner could be spending with them and/or their family.

(A side note: If the “time away” is out of balance with “time spent with them and/or family”, this is very understandable and can certainly lead to resentment. Asking a man to spend more time with you and/or family will be my post for next week.)

For this post, I’d like to address the need men have to watch and participate in sports. I hope this explanation (1) helps women understand the part that isn’t personally against them and (2) gives men the words to explain their reasons to women.

One of the ways men work through their stress is be involved in actions, because this helps them release the stress. And this ultimately leads to men finding solutions to the problems that created the stress in the first place.

You can imagine how engaging in a sport would dispel stressful energy. Something you may not know is – just watching a sporting event (in person or on TV – even replays) can lower the stress level for men. And, even better, if the team they’re rooting for wins, they physically feel the “win” inside of themselves and this “winning” feeling can translate to feeling less stress. (Watching the news or reading the paper can also accomplish this for them.)

A man feels less stress when he doesn’t have to focus directly on his stress (unlike a woman who feels less stress when she talks about what’s bothering her). By focusing on their team or the news, their mind is free to work on the solution to the problem that is causing them stress.

So, my advice for women when they see their man feeling stressed? Leave him alone. When he’s done playing or watching his sport, he’ll be ready to give you his undivided attention.

Let me know if this works for you.

~ Christine
Dating and Relationship Expert

Goal Setting + Purposeful Dating = Satisfying Relationships

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