Who do you take dating advice from?

I seem to have one of those faces that puts people (even strangers) at ease, and because of this I end up in interesting conversations with people at parties, on airplanes, in movie lines, etc.

If my fellow conversationalist is single and finds out I’m a dating and relationship coach, we often have a dialogue similar to the following:

Single person: What’s the best way to get dating advice?

Me: Where have you been getting advice up to this point?

Single person: From my friend (my work colleague, neighbor, etc.)

Me: How is that person’s relationship?

Single person: They’re single.

I have to say – this always puzzles me. Why would they take advice from someone who is where they are now rather than where they want to be?

Here are my suggestions for getting good dating and relationship advice.

Find a couple who has been in a long-term, happy, healthy, committed relationship and ask them for advice.  This couple will be a wealth of information because to continue to grow and stay together takes a lot of energy, thought and caring. Ask them:

  • How they met.
  • What each of them did when they were dating that drew the other person to them.
  • How they expressed (and continue to express) their needs to each other.
  • How they handle their disagreements.
  • How many times a day they laugh together.

Talk to a couple who had been divorced and is now remarried. They will also have valuable information because they have the comparison of dating and marrying at different phases of their life. Ask them:

  • What they learned from their first marriage.
  • What they learned when they were single.
  • What they did differently when they dated their current spouse.
  • What they are doing differently in this marriage.

Talk to married clergy. Ask them:

  • How their faith has helped their marriage.
  • About the challenges they’ve helped other couples overcome.
  • If they offer marriage preparation classes.

Talk to a coach, therapist, or psychologist:

  • These professionals have helped many couples through a wide variety of challenges.
  • They know the steps to prevent many problems and also the steps to overcome even more.

Are you single? Where have you been getting your advice?

~ Christine
Dating and Relationship Expert

Goal Setting + Purposeful Dating = Satisfying Relationships

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