My husband is so confused

Last Christmas, my husband purchased the same gift for me that he purchased for his daughter, Bree. Now I’m sure you can all see the potential problems with this – so you’ll probably be surprised to hear we were both quite happy with the gift.

The gift was a beautiful set of makeup brushes and case. His thoughts around the purchase were:

  • I think Christine would like a new set of make-up brushes.
  • Will Bree be upset when Christine receives the brushes and she doesn’t?
  • Sometimes when Bree is at our house (she is in college), she uses Christine’s brushes. If I give Bree her own set of brushes, she won’t have to use Christine’s.
  • If I give Bree a set of brushes, Christine might be disappointed that she didn’t get some too.

After agonizing over all this, he decided to purchase two so he wouldn’t “get in trouble.”

On Christmas morning, we’re both thrilled with our gifts. Bree loves having her own set of brushes, and I’d seen these brushes at Costco and really wanted them.

Later Tony told me he’s confused. How can we be so happy? He only purchased them to keep us from getting mad at him. That isn’t a reason for us to be happy. I tried to explain that even when you make us happy by accident and unintentionally it still counts. He continued to be confused.

This same story has been shown in the “Rose is Rose” comic. The husband finds out the bathroom door squeaks. So, he uses some cream from the medicine cabinet to fix the squeak. As he’s doing this, his wife comes around the corner, sees the jar and in a shocked voice says, “What are you doing?”  He answers, “Greasing a squeaky hinge.” Then in a very upset voice his wife says, “With my age-defying moisturizer cream?” The husband says in a surprised voice, “Why would you need this stuff?” The next two panels show the wife’s face going from mad to surprised and the final panel shows the wife with her arms wrapped around her husband’s neck in rapt-happiness, hearts floating all around and her husband looking completely confused. And the caption below this final picture says, “Situation defused using the unintended compliment recognition system!”

I showed the comic to my husband and he said, “Oh! Now I get it.”

Another of the many many ways men and women communicate differently. How wonderful it is when the unintended turns out for the best.

~ Christine
Dating and Relationship Expert

Goal Setting + Purposeful Dating = Satisfying Relationships


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