Posts Tagged ‘boundaries’

How well you do you know yourself?

April 20, 2012

I thought I knew myself pretty well until I started dating. Then I was consistently surprised by the new and different things I learned about myself with almost each date.

So, how about you… can you answer each of these with certainty?

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New Year’s resolutions (part 5)

March 23, 2012

Last month I presented a list of six ways to make New Year’s resolutions “stick”.  Today, I’d like to talk about item 6 on this list.

But first, let’s recap the initial five:

  1. Be convinced it will make your life better. This involves determining your starting place, examining your past choices, and deciding where you want to be next.
  2. Be convinced it’s attainable. Adopt new benefits.
  3. Break it into very small goals, and clearly state each goal. These small goals define the steps necessary to reach your ultimate goal.
  4. Be accountable to yourself and at least one other person. Having a confidant to call when you need a “booster shot” of confidence will help you over the rough patches.
  5. Be your own cheerleader, and have at least one other cheerleader. Create a list of rewards to give yourself at each step.

Now – for item 6:

6. Be able to adjust your expectations when necessary.

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“Scary dangerous” vs. “scary nervous”

March 2, 2012

It can be hard and scary to get “out there” and meet people. It’s important to keep yourself safe. And to do this, it’s crucial to know the difference between “scary dangerous” and “scary nervous”.

Scary dangerous.

If your “intuition” says don’t go then please listen and don’t go. If you intuition is not ringing alarm bells, then to ensure you’ll be safe:

  • Join an activity that has at least 10 people who have RSVP’d.
  • Go to something that takes place during the daytime.
  • Ask a friend to go with you.
  • Bring your charged cell phone.
  • Drive your own car.

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New Year’s resolutions (part 4)

February 24, 2012

In my last three posts, I’ve been talking about ways to make New Year’s resolutions “stick”. Today, I’d like to talk about items 4 and 5 on this list.

4. Be accountable to yourself and at least one other person.

5. Be your own cheerleader, and have at least one other cheerleader.

There can be lots of uncertainty, pressure, and anxiety with online dating, so it’s definitely not a time to “go solo”.

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New Year’s resolutions (part 3)

February 17, 2012

In my last two posts, I’ve been talking about six ways to make resolutions “stick”. Today I’d like to talk a little more about the third item on this list:

3. Break the resolution into very small goals, and clearly state each goal.

This process of making small goals will help take the overwhelm out of resolution-keeping.

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New Year’s resolutions (part 2)

February 10, 2012

Last week’s post listed six suggestions for making resolutions “stick”. Today I’d like to talk a little more about the first two items:

1. Be convinced the resolution will make your life better.

To figure this out, use  my GPS formula. Determine your starting place by honestly looking at where you are right now. Ask yourself these questions:

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New Year’s resolutions

February 3, 2012

So, now that we’re into the month of February. . . how are you feeling about your New Year’s resolutions?

Resolutions are another way of creating important boundaries in your life and are something to consider creating throughout the year (not just at the beginning).

Bottom line – when something becomes a big enough problem in your life and you truly want a change, this is the time to make a resolution.

How to create a resolution that sticks? To keep a resolution, you need to:

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